Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
