"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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