Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
