Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
