Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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