I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
