why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
