I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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