I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
