i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
