I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
