and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
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She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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