Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
