he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think my fart just growled at me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
