my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
