Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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