Pants 0. Shit 1.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
