the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
