Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
BRING THE BAGELS
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
