obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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