There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
