I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
