I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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