DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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