He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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