Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
