with your own penis?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
