what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize