i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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