who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
