You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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