Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
