Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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