Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
