Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
