i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
