are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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