I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We are two peas in an std pod
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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