I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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