its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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