i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
vagina is talking i cant
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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