I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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