Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
