can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
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