Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
