Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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