i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
