There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
