Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
