until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
