I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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