I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
