We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
