One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
