Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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