Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
thus making me awesome and them whores
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
