I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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