that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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