Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
