i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
