So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
