So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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