omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
