Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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