yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
